Do you think
that these are the meaning of love? For me, love is something that is
subjective. It cannot be described, but can only be felt. As what I know, love
is something that makes me happy and smile.
Yes, I haven’t
experienced being couple, but it doesn’t mean that I never be in love. Come on
guys, don’t you realize that your first love is your parents? And not your
monkey love? Kih3 >_<
Okay, I should
stop this… I don’t have much to talk about love. What I know is that without my
family’s love towards me, I can’t face the upcoming challenging days.
Hye! Hello! Hola! Ngeh3…what the tuttt… Actually,
I’m quite lazy and don’t feel like updating this blog lately coz I don’t know
what I’ve done, but this blog has become so messy. Don’t you feel it? Well,
that’s okay coz I’ll reorganize this blog soon.
Today, let’s ‘talk’ about school life. Is your
school life so interesting? Lively? Fun? Having many friends? Having monkey
love? Muahhaha…that one is out from this topic! Let me tell you an
uninteresting story about my school life.
Starting from when I was 5 and 6 years
old, I got my first education at Tabika Perpaduan Sri Aman, just near my house.
When I was five, I don’t like to go there because I was afraid of the new
environment. I don’t have friend and seriously, I asked my mom to accompany me
there. She had to sit beside me in the class and I’m the only one who entered
the class with mommy. Haha…that’s a special case, I think! And yeah, just like
what I said, I don’t have any friend there. So, no wonder I don’t remember
them.
Then, when I was seven, I entered SK
Padang Pa’ Amat. That was also a completely different environment where there
were many seniors (yeah, since I was still in standard one!). In year one, I
was placed in the first class with my cousin. So, I had a friend with me (since
my mom didn’t accompany me anymore). What I can remember is that I was a
silencer/ silence person and I asked my cousin to buy me food at the school
canteen. And I bet that she might feel burdened. Hehehe...sorry *_*
When I was in standard four, I was selected
to be a school prefect and can you imagine how a silence prefect looks like? Yeah,
it looks like me, for sure! Since I was separated from my cousin coz she had to
enter the second class, so I didn’t go to the canteen up until I was in
standard six. That was bcoz I only got close friends when I was in standard
six. Such a sad childhood story!
Then I entered SMK Kamil in 2006. Yeah, I was
a ‘nobody’ again up until I was in form 3 bcoz I didn’t have any close friends.
Then, my life started to be interesting when I was in form four. Seriously, I don’t
regret for staying in the second class. That year had taught me what LIFE is. Plus,
that was the year that introduced me with such great best friends.
So,
that’s all about me. How about yours?? I know that your stories are better that
mine, right? No doubt, that’s for sure, hahaha…bye ^_^
2 hari lagi before aku punya interview. Nervous
kott…apasal nie hah? Selalunya tak macam nie. Maybe sebab aku tak well-prepared
lagi. Lagi satu, kebanyakan kawan-kawan aku yang dah lepas interview nie
cakap, diorang kena soal pasal Bersih 3.0. Haishh…aku nie dah la KO kalau masuk
bab politik and sejarah. OK tak kalau aku cakap macam nie- “I’m sorry
Sir/Madam, but I’m not interested and expert in politics and history. So, that’s
why I always get C for History in every exam (that’s the FACT)”. Ahh, lantak
lar. Jangan sampai kena nyanyi sudah!
Meh nak rewind balik kenangan aku pergi
interview untuk Asasi TESL kat UiTM Machang, tahun lepas. Aku punya interview
sepatutnya start pukul 8 pagi. So, aku, parents and sepupu aku (bekas mahasiswi
UiTM Machang) bertolak around pukul 7 pagi. Masa tu ada lar nervous sikit sebab
takde kawan sekapal. Bila sampai jer, kereta abah aku pulak buat hal. Aku kena
jalan kaki pergi fakulti pendidikan. Nasib baik ada sepupu aku yang expert
pasal jalan shortcut kat situ. Lepas tu, aku jumpa sorang ex-schoolmate kat
sana. Kitorang kena kat bilik yang sama.
Pagi tu kitorang kena jawab test bertulis
dulu. Disebabkan ramai orang, so aku tak dapat tempat duduk kat dalam dewan yang
sepatutnya. Jadi,aku terpaksa jawab test tu agak terlambat sikit daripada yang
lain. Selesai test, aku kena tunggu giliran untuk interview pulak. Masa tu aku
dapat nombor 40, calon yang last untuk sesi pagi. Disebabkan lama sangat
menunggu sambil berdiri, aku dah hilang rasa nervous.
Bila aku check balik dokumen yang kena
bawak, tetiba…alamak! Aku terlupa bawak surat beranak aku! Mula-mula tu rasa
gabra jugak lar, tapi lepas tu…ahh! Lantak lar. Average masa yang diambil oleh
seorang calon ialah 20 minit. Turn aku sampai pada pukul 4 petang. Bila masuk
jer bilik penemuduga, diorang tanya,“Are you nervous?”. Then dengan sempoi nye
aku jawab,“No”. Memang dah tak nervous pun. Aku set dalam fikiran aku yang aku
pergi sana just untuk berbual-bual dengan pensyarah sana jer. keh3… senang
citer!
Masa tu ada 2 orang interviewers. Sorang lelaki
and sorang lagi pompuan. Mula-mula interviewer yang lelaki suruh aku cerita
pasal diri sendiri. Lepas aku bagitau yang hobi aku membaca, terus interviewer
pompuan tanya aku baca buku BI or BM. Dengan ragu-ragunya aku jawab both. Then dia
tembak aku dengan soalan “what title of the latest English book that you’ve
read?”. OMG! Aku blurr kejap. And aku pun jawab “sorry, but I don’t remeber”. Then
dia tanya lagi, “when was the last time you read English Book?”. Aku jawab,“last
December” (masa tu bulan April). Dia balas balik, “how come you can’t remember
the title? It was just a few months from now.” Bila dah tertangkap and
terperangkap macam tu, takde apa yang lebih baik selain SENYUM. But bila aku ingat-ingat balik, memang aku ada baca buku BI, tp komik,hehehe...
Lastly, interviewer lelaki tanya aku punya
pilihan lain dalam UPU. Lepas tu, dia cakap, “Is it okay if you don’t get this
course? Because depends on your other choices and SPM results, I think that you
can get better courses than this”. Aku terus jer jawab 'yes' masa tu sebab aku
tak minat sangat TESL nie. Harapan aku lebih kepada Farmasi. Tapi nak buat macm
mana, dah rezeki aku kat situ. Bila keluar jer, aku tengok jam. 10 minit jer??
hahahaha…untung jugak dapat last.
So, itulah kenangan yang tak berapa nak
manis sangat berkait dengan TESL. Itu lah titik tolak yang membawa aku kepada
TESL. Aku tak tau kenapa aku pilih TESL. Dulu, masa pilih kos untuk UPU lepas
SPM, aku langsung tak fikirkan TESL. Masa kali terakhir aku kemaskini, tetiba
aku pilih Asasi TESL UiTM. Dah lar aku letak as 1st choice lagi. Mungkin
ini jalan hidupku. Semuanya bermula dengan Asasi TESL.
EVERYTHING
HAPPENS FOR A REASON. Now, I totally believe in those words. Actually, April
2012 has taught a really important lesson to me. God never give us everything
that we want, but He will give something that’s better than that.
As I
said in my previous entry, bulan April lepas memang betol-betol penting untuk
aku. Bermula dengan keputusan MUET, diikuti dengan result final, then MEdSI (tiga
hari berturut-turut). Dua hari selepas tu, senarai calon yang berjaya
menghadiri temuduga IPG/ Maktab pulak keluar. Dalam masa lima hari tu, aku
memang sedih sangat-sangat sebab semua yang aku nak tak dapat. MUET= Band 3 (markah
lagi rendah dari yang first), Result pun lagi rendah dari
sem 1 and seterusnya aku kena test MEdSI yang menentukan sama ada aku dapat kos
TESL kat UKM or not(seriously, aku tak letak harapan untuk lulus disebabkan aku
punya pointer and MUET). Hari Isnin, bila list IPG keluar, rasa kecewa aku bertambah-tambah
sebab harapan aku untuk jadi cikgu/pendidik dah takde.
Siapa
yang tak rasa kecewa bila tak dapat apa yang diinginkan. Bukan hanya 1, tapi
ketiga-tiga. Masa tu aku rasa yang aku nie betol-betol USELESS and HOPELESS. Mana
tak nya, hati aku yang tengah retak nie terus pecah berderai bila parents aku
pun turut rasa kecewa dengan aku. When something bad happens, everybody will
blame others, but nobody will blame themselves. Masa tu aku try redha and set
in my mind yang memang bukan rezeki aku. Aku dah cuba buat yang terbaik and
actually, I’ve tried harder than first sem. But, hati aku tetap degil. It took
about a week for me to calm down.
But last
Saturday, it was a really great day. It was such a present to console me after
having a great sadness. Alhamdulillah, I’ve gotten a chance to attend an
interview for pursuing my study for degree in TESL. I’ve past the MEdSI test! Yahoooo!!!
Kali nie aku memang bersyukur sangat-sangat sebab memang tak ramai budak TESL
yang pass MEdSI. Setahu aku, TESLians yang kat Kuantan, ramai tak dapat, even though
diorang dapat Band 4 and Pointer tahap Dekan. Kalau dah rezeki, memang takkan
ke mana. I’m not proud of myself, but I think this is a great chance for me. I’ll
do my best in the interview, InsyaAllah…
My last entry was posted in April and
today is 14th May. Dah lama kan? Malas bebenor rasanya tangan nie
nak menaip, ditambah pulak dengan line broadband yang super slow. Takde mood
jadinya nak post kat blog nie.
Since it’s May, everybody will celebrate
Mother’s Day and Teacher’s Day. Yesterday, most of the people celebrated Mother’s
Day, including my Fb friends. Ramai yang wish Selamat Hari Ibu beserta ucapan
yang panjang berjela-jela kat wall diorang. Me? I’m excluded.
Yes, it seems like they really appreciate
what their mothers have done. But, do they really mean that? I wonder, dalam
ramai-ramai yang wish tu, berapa kerat jer yang wish verbally kat mak diorang? And
yes, I admit it, memang agak segan rasanya nak wish depan-depan dengan mak
sendiri. My face will turn to red and it feels like I wanna put my face in my
pocket or throw it away at that time.
I don’t celebrate Mother’s Day yesterday
because for me, everyday is Mother’s Day. It’s not fair if we just treat our mothers
specially only in a single day every year while they try their best to comfort
us EVERYDAY. So we don’t have to wait until May to wish Happy Mother’s Day to
our mom and make her happy, right?
Lama bebenor dah tak update blog nie yer. Aku
nie bukannya apa, sibuk sangat kat rumah nie walaupun aku still menganggur. Tiap–tiap
hari aku kena jaga kebajikan anak-anak aku yang ada 8 ekor tu. Lepas tu, main
kejar-kejar dengan si bapak ayam yang bukan main garang lagi. Ceh! Ayam nie
musuh utama aku kat rumah. Benci betol! Tiap kali aku nak keluar rumah mesti
kena perhati sekeliling dulu, dah macam perompak dah aku nie. Aku dah pernah
kena patuk dek ayam tu, sakit weyh! Aku dah fobia dengan ayam. Emm, apa lagi
yer? ^,^… Aah! Bagi makan and yang paling best, “mendera” ikan guphi adik
aku,hihihi…
Tu lar rutin aku tiap-tiap hari. Penat tau
tak… Okay lar, back to the real motive aku update blog nie. Bulan April nie
memang bulan yang betol-betol buat aku sesak nafas. Banyak tarikh penting dalam
bulan nie. Start esok, 26hb, result MUET aku keluar! Nervous weyh! Tambah lagi
lusa, 27hb, result final aku pulak yang keluar. Waa, lemah jantung! 28hb,aku
ada ujian bertulis MeDSi. Aku tak buat research and latihan lagi… Tiga hari
yang penting berturut-turut!!! Lastly, 30 April, list untuk panggilan temuduga
IPG pulak yang keluar.
Benda yang paling penting, benda yang aku
takut pasal semua nie, of course la aku takut aku gagal dapat yang
terbaik. Takut~~ dah lar, aku tak nak sambung lagi. Rasa macam nak luruh dah
jantung aku nie. Bye-bye, Adios~
Rasa macam dah lama jer aku tak update blog nie. Tangan pun dah terketar-ketar nak tekan keyboard. Guys, now I’m home! Aku dah habis asasi. Buat masa sekarang nie aku tengah mengaggur kat rumah. Emm, hari nie dah masuk hari ke-13 aku kat rumah.
Diam tak diam, aku dah habis asasi. Rasa macam sekejap sangat. Lepas habis paper CTU 20 Mac lepas, aku terus balik Kelantan. Emm, masa tu aku ada lar rasa sedih sikit. Sedih nak tinggalkan bumi Kuantan, tempat lahir aku. Tak lupa jugak kat UiTM Kuantan yang mesra alam tu. Lepas nie, maybe dah takde gelaran budak TESL lagi…yelah, aku ada terfikir jugak untuk tukar course lain for degree…
Rasa macam sekejap jer sem 2 nie. Tak puas rasanya nak gelak-gelak dengan classmates masa kelas Grammar,Listening and Speaking, Writing and Reading, conteng buku nota time kelas CTU, berebut tempat kat bahagian belakang masa kelas Basic Principle, maki hamun mesin air degung-degang masa kelas Literature and giler-giler masa kelas Drama. Aish, sekarang aku rindu kawan-kawan aku…
Pada malam last aku kat Kuantan, malam 19 Mac, aku, classmates and Madam Nur Hasyimah (lecturer literature) buat farewell party kat Tanjung Lumpur. Kitorang bertolak pergi sana around pukul 8 malam. Dalam masa tu la kitorang berbual-bual, gelak-gelak, sakat-menyakat, ambik gambar dan segala bagai untuk kali terakhir. Lepas makan, madam Syima bagi ucapan, diikuti ucapan our CR. Lepas tu potong kek…aish, rasa macam nak nangis, sebak semacam jer. Mana tak nye, semua orang jadi friendly kot, rasa macam kitorang dah lama kenal. Masing-masing macam tak nak melepaskan antara satu sama lain.
Guys, I’ve never had such good and sporting friends like all of you. Through last second semester, I felt like I had brothers and sisters. I’ll never forget our memories… sob3 :’( May Allah bless all of you and just pray that we will meet again next time.
